The Men’s Rights Movement is seen as a toxic group of sexist and misogynistic men who hate women and see any progress in feminism as a threat as they don’t want equality. However, these are false. To understand the men’s rights movement is like trying to understand a snowstorm, one snowflake at a time. The Men’s Rights Movement (MRA’s) campaign against the inequality for men that feminism and the media attempt to silence by spreading the well-accepted myth that males have all the power, are the most privileged and are the oppressors. These inequalities are issues facing men in the biased family court system, they are the majority of the homeless, the majority of suicides, the majority of drug addicts, the majority of the unemployed, the majority of school drop outs and the majority of those in prison. And when these issues are brought up, feminists either drown them out with the words “patriarchy” and “sexism” and “oppression”, typical buzzwords or blame men for those issues but won’t help to fix them.
Even though they, rarely, give MRA’s a platform to speak, in which all their points are ignored and are painted at sexists, they are also violently protested by feminists who have even resorted to violence to stop them speaking publicly. Funny how feminists say they are oppressed but when they protest, everyone is behind them, especially the media who say how amazing the “Slut Walks” and “Women’s Marches” are. But when men do the same, they are protected, labeled as sexists and ultimately shut down. They also spread lies about the men’s movement, saying how it’s been classed as a hate group which is a fabricated lie and say how violent they are and pro-rape, which again, completely fabricated.
Some of the best people to research about the men’s rights movement are people like Erin Pizzey, Dr. Warren Farrell, Paul Elam, Karen Straughan and The Honey Badgers. However, don’t expect any public appearances from them as they always get picketed, protested and shut down by feminists who wanna silence them, even feminist forms of media like ‘Ms.’ Magazine, encourage the protests. If they are just sexist liars, why not encourage them to speak so people could see their lies and expose them? Because what they say is truthful and logical and makes the argument for feminism almost pointless. And they don’t want that. To me, anyone deserves a platform to speak how they feel, whether its feminism or men’s rights, both can have a platform so when I see people wanting to silence another, it’s sickening to me.
Some issues that feminists either ignore or silence is that 95% of workplace fatalities are men, 4/5 suicides are men, more men are dropping out of higher education as 38% of college students are make in the US and is continuing to drop every year. 1 in 4 men experience physical violence by an intimate parter in their life time, men are sentenced to 63% longer prison sentences then women for the same crime and if you include prison, more men get raped then women. They are less likely to see a doctor, less likely to get health insurance, the pro-choice movement is exclusively for women as men almost have no say in that, and the family court system is heavily biased against men. And when feminists hear this, they simply say “Cry me a river and grow up” because they don’t care. They only care about women’s issues and about painting society as sexist and a patriarchy so more young women, uneducated on this issue, which believe it.
While society does see women as sex objects, it also sees men as success objects. People attack men for dating women for their bodies yet are more quieter when women date them for their money and power and if men are poorer or not very successful, they are seen as less desirable in society’s eyes. Also, they are seen as strong and brave, willing to sacrifice themselves. Like, on the Titanic, they had the infamous decision of “Women and children first” because men should sacrifice themselves for the women and children, even if they didn’t want to and even today, that practice still happens. In WW1, women gave men, like their father, brothers, uncles, and husbands, the white feather as a sign of cowardice if they didn’t go to the front lines to be slaughtered in the trenches. Because it’s almost like men are expendable, they’d rather send them to die because men are the protectors and if they didn’t wanna stay on a sinking ship in the middle of a freezing cold ocean or didn’t wanna get mowed down by German machine guns by the hundreds, you were no man, you were a coward.
One example of seeing men as expendable is Boko Haram, an Islamic terrorist group in Nigeria, who became well know after kidnapping over 200 girls from school. Politicians, celebrities, The United Nations and the media said that this group wanted to deny girls education, which sparked protests world-wide and started the popular hashtag #BringBackOurGirls. However, that was not the reason why they kidnapped those girls. It was for attention because, they aren’t against girls being educated, they are against anyone getting a western, secular or Christian education and, for a long time, they had slaughtered men and boys and let the women go and no one cared as the mass murders were barely reported. When they attacked villages and killed hundreds of men and couple of women, they were called “people” or “villagers”. And when they attacked school previously, they let the girls go by separating them and telling them to live by Allah, get married and have children. The boys were all burnt alive. And no one cared. And this wasn’t an isolated incident, this happened all the time and thousands of men and boys were killed, one year they killed 2,037 men and boys, and we only cared when the girls were kidnapped. That is what sparked them wanting to send aid, equipment, and resources to help find these girls and stop Boko Haram. Well. Maybe if they cared and did something the first time they struck, those girls would have been safe in their beds. But they didn’t. They didn’t bother with the campaign #BringBackOurBoys because they were already dead, so never mind. If those girls were boys, they wouldn’t have been kidnapped and sold into marriage or slavery, they’d be dead.
I mentioned before that 1 in 4 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner in their lifetime and with women, its 1 in 3. So the numbers are very similar. In fact, in 2014, the CDC released a report revealing that 5.4 million men and 4.7 million women had experienced physical violence by an intimate partner within the past 12 months. However, physical violence is painted a women’s issue inflicted by men. In the US, there are over 2,000 women’s shelters which, combined, get $1.5 billion dollars in funding per year. Feminists say this is nowhere near enough shelters, which I do agree with as the numbers don’t reflect the demand. However, there is only 1 shelter for men, which was protested by feminists who saw it as cheapening violence against men. And for a long time, there were no shelters for men and no women’s shelter would help men. The first women’s shelter was opened in 1971 in Cheswick, London by Erin Prizzey. However, she saw that 63% of the women she helped had been just as violent towards their husbands and violent towards their children. She said this was an issue about violence in their childhood and not a men’s problem and even wanted to make a shelter for men. When she announced that, she was kicked out of her refuge and banned from all feminist conferences and other refuges and even had to leave the country due to the death threats she and her family received. Feminists have turned physical violence against women into a business and they refuse to share that with men because, to them, men are the problem.
Feminists use just one thing to remain relevant and needed and something to convince other women and even men to become a feminist; Patriarchy. The invisible force that is ruled by men and is used to rule women’s lives and dictate everything they should do, the root cause of women’s oppression and suffering. The enemy of not just feminism, but all women. Their Devil. And they describe feminism as the liberating force of good and justice that’ll show you the way to live. It sounds like a cult, a fundamentalist religious cult that brainwashes you into hating the outside world. They say feminism is all about ‘equality’, they sure do blame men for everything and women are always the innocent victims in any situation. They name the force of oppression after men (patriarchy) and the force for good after women (feminism). It’s a movement very concerned about language like if you call a firefighter a “fireman”, you are somehow discouraging little girls from aspiring to be firefighters. But they can call the force that causes women’s oppression after men. Feminists don’t wanna blame men, they just named everything bad after them.
I agree that both sides need a dialog and a platform to speak, both feminists and men’s rights activists, to vocalize their concerns and bring light to issues bother genders face. But it’s the feminists who are stopping that, the ones who only want their issues to be heard and if they admit there are issues men do face, it’s somehow linked to patriarchy.
Feminism is what is really holding women back, not patriarchy or men. It’s feminism. Feminism is the force of oppression women wanna fight.
That is why I am not a feminist. I am a men’s rights advocate.